that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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