Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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