i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
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