oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
