She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
