He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
