So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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