Can Purell be used as lube?
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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