I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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