is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Randomize
