Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
