Its about making memories worth repressing
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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