I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
