I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
