Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
