it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Randomize
