Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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