So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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