I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize