I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
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