I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
