If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Randomize
