He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Randomize
