i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
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