If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
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