$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
