GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
