If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
