He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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