In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
