Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
