I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
