At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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