Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry pajina101 hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(469): View more from Texas

Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them

Fav 7 3269 1055
share tweet
(765): View more from Indiana

looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...

Fav 268 1058 7132
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(443): View more from Maryland

he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it

Fav 52 1723 6565
share tweet
(651): View more from Minnesota

i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college

Fav 37 7131 854
share tweet
(828): View more from North Carolina

Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.

Fav 15 6289 1793
share tweet
(229): View more from Georgia

He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.

Fav 12 6933 1448
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(920): View more from Wisconsin

I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend

Fav 4 3003 1114
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(517): View more from Michigan

Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener

(508): View more from Massachusetts

The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it

Fav 1 860 541
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(910): View more from North Carolina

You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means

Fav 0 53 21
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT