U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
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