i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
