My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
