The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
