3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Randomize
