census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
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