it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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