My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
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