You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
