Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
