This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
