I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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