Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
