I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
