Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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