he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
