literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Randomize
